Find Yourself
by Alone in a New Place
Summary: A multichaptered SongFic revolving around Mu and his stay on the Archangel.
1. Part I

At the moment, I'm attempting to complete all my requests but this is just the first one—a writing challenge! irishdragon and skywolf666, sorry for the super-long waits . . . And, pure thanks go to _MapleRose_ for a lot of help on certain things . . .

As said, this is a writing challenge I received from a friend of mine. An "extended songfic" as I call it—Basically it's a multi-chaptered songfic where each verse/stanza is the core part of each chapter—so, that, by the end, you've gone through the entire song . . . get it? (It'll probably make more sense later on after you see.) Well, this is my first real attempt at a songfic of any type . . . so, I'm not quite sure how this turned out. But, I was able to choose my song and subject, though! This first try centers around Gundam SEED's Mu LaFlaga—and, though the song may _not_ fit with him **_perfectly_**,I think I did an okay job with the choice. . . . If not, tell me 'kay? So I can learn from my mistakes.

(And, just so you know, this _first_ chapter was by far the hardest for me to write for some reason . . .--and in this first chapter I made Mu slightly more arrogant/cocky than need-be, so sorry if he's out of character.)

A thing I like most about this is that even though all the short chapters are different story wise, there's this connecting thread between all of them—besides the song, and its subject . . . Even so, let's just say this isnt my best at the moment. (Sorry for all the pre-writing)

Anyway, the song is **Find Yourself**—as sung by Brad Paisley.

* * *

_**Part I -- (Phase 5)**_

After landing in the Archangel's Hangar, the Ace Pilot grinned. It had all been a success. He'd managed to single-handedly get that ship of LeCreuset's out of the way _and_ still was able to return in time to help get that foolish kid back aboard safely.

There _had_ been that one moment though. . . . when that _coldness_ clenched him. When the boy's machine disappeared beyond that explosion . . . Mu momentarily froze at his controls. . . .

He vigorously shook that thought from his mind as Mu yanked off that signature helmet of his. Unbuckling himself, he wiped some faint sweat from his face. Remembering the boy's ordeal once more, Mu lazily pushed himself from the Zero's hatch and up towards the Strike instead.

Chuckling to himself, Mu recalled about how he was only supposed to _escort_ the original pilots of those G-Weapons—not fight alongside one—nor alongside a kid who still needed rescuing.

As Mu came closer, however, that grin of his faltered. He couldn't see that kid anywhere, and Murdoch was yelling at the Strike's cockpit door.

"What seems to be the problem?" Mu asked casually, though bordering on lazy with his tone.

"He wont come outta there," Murdoch grumbled. Mu grinned. He had just learned the mechanic's name a few hours earlier.

"Ah, let me try. . . ."

He shouted, hoping his scolds would reach the inside of the machine. "Hey!"

Eyes flashing, he fumbled with the outside controls. "Come on! Get outta there!" He had a quick laugh, though, wondering as what was happening inside. The doors opened and Mu swung to face them. "Kira Ya—!"

Mu froze at the door, condescending grin wiped straight off his face.

He could see the boy inside, Kira, sitting there, body racking with every gasp for air. His hands were clenched tight around the lever controls, his feet engrained hard into the Strike's floor. Through the visor, Mu could easily tell how pale he was, and the blank fear still shivered in those eyes.

_When you find yourself_

_In some far off place_

The Lieutenant's eyes narrowed. He'd seen many soldiers come back after first battles in similar states, but then, he'd also seen those same soldiers not come back at all. . . . For a moment, his mind touched upon the dark possibility, and his face became grim.

Mu readjusted his features into a weak smile before pushing himself into the Strike's cockpit as well. Getting closer, Mu reached out to gently grip Kira's shoulder.

"Come on now, it's all over," he muttered, suddenly quiet and reserved. "Let's get you out of there, hm?" Stretching over, he unbuckled Kira from the seat, like one would do a young child.

But Kira _was_ a child.

_And it causes you_

_To rethink some things_

Putting on a playful grin, Mu quickly got to work in slowly easing Kira's tight fingers from the controls. In the man's grip, the boy's hands still shook. Mu's voice became quiet and coaxing as he played with the boy's gloved fingers.

"_Listen_ . . . you're still in one piece, and so am I—_and_ the ship's okay."

Mu looked up into Kira's face and put on a reassuring smile as he slid his hand from the boy's.

"You did a great job."

_You start to sense . . ._

Looking into those young violet eyes, Mu was able to see Kira's slow dawn of understanding at the words.

The boy breathed heavily, eyes searching the elder soldier's face, finding only a faint form of admiration dancing there.

_That, slowly,_

_You're becoming someone else. . . ._

". . . Thanks . . . Lieutenant . . ."

"No problem, Kid."

At that, Mu _truly_ smiled.

_And then you find yourself._


	2. Part II

Part of me really wanted to place Natarle in the story for this second stanza/verse, but it really didnt work out in the end. It was hard enough finding a scene that "closed the gap" between the episode numbers of chapter one and three, and though this isnt the best "middle", it still worked its purpose, I believe. Thanks again go to MapleRose for help.

* * *

**_Part II -- (Phase 15)_**

Mu stifled a yawn before absently pushing away some stray hair from his face. Despite first impressions, the new Skygrasper's cockpit was quite comfortable. He flicked one of the levers—nothing happened. The man hadn't expected anything, but it still made him sigh.

He lowered his eyes once more to the pages in front of him. Mu's eyes had been scanning the Skygrasper Manuel's pages for a while now—mostly to pass time. He could have figured out most of it's operations on his own—seeing as how it was significantly more simplistic than his favored Zero.

But, as with landing in the middle of ZAFT territory an' all, he had to know what he could do piloting-wise in case of a problem. He was the ship's only defense.—Kira was still unconscious from the descent.

With another yawn, Mu flipped the page and continued half-reading. Then one line came he slowly read aloud:

"The FX-550 Skygrasper's _primary_ function is delivering the Striker Packs to the GAT-X105 Strike."

He gaped at the words. Mu blinked at the manual given to him, _personally_.

"I'm . . . I'm a _delivery_ _boy_?" Was that really how far the Hawk of Endymion had fallen?

Murdoch's rough laughter filled the open cockpit as the mechanic made his way up the Skygrasper's ladder. Appearing beside Mu, the grease-stained man didn't even pause before he proceeded to tinker with one of the control panels.

"Yeah, well," Murdoch pulling at something. "—At least you've been promoted for it, Lieutenant—oops, sorry, Commander."

Mu cocked a sarcastic eyebrow at the mechanic.

"Heh, no problem."

Mu was glad for the whole Archangel crew getting promotions, but having Murdoch joke about his constantly slowly got on the younger man's nerves. How many times could one man forget, then 'suddenly' remember, a rank change?

Even so, it made Mu grin.

Turning away from the working mechanic, Mu tapped his hand against the thick manual, grin falling into a glare.

"But, still . . . fighter planes are _pretty_ limited when going up against ZAFT's suits, don't you think? Even with the Strike's . . . _add_-_ons_. . . ."

Murdoch erupted into his coarse brand of laughter. The man just hung on the side of the plane, no longer concentrating on the work in front of him.

"Yeah, well, they probably think the _best_ can make the most out of 'em—wouldn't you agree?"

Mu could only sink himself further into the pilot's chair and childishly cross his arms over his chest.

"I already miss my Zero," he muttered darkly.

"Oh, don't _complain_, Commander. It's not going anywhere," the rough man teased. "It'll still be here for you for when we go back up into space."

"Yeah?" Mu countered, eyebrow raised questioningly. "And _when_ will that be?"

"Hah—good question." Murdoch laughed before disappearing down the ladder. "Like I'd know!"

Mu quickly pushed out of the seat so he, himself, could hang over the side of the cockpit. Locking eyes with the mechanic on the Hangar floor, Mu put on his harshest face as he brandished the manual beside him.

"Hey!" He yelled, laughing. "Get back up here! You need to finish reading this over with me!"

"Sorry, Commander," Murdoch visibly grinned. "Already have. And I don't need, nor want, to read it again."

As Mu playfully glared back, Murdoch sighed.

"But _really,_ Sir . . . you should really be getting some rest. You've been reading that thing for the past three hours."

Mu pouted at the mechanic's truthful concern. He had told the Captain to get some rest while he did—that they _both_ needed it. Then, instead of going to his own quarters, Mu had made his way to the Hangar to check out his new toys.—not that they had made him any happier.

"Well, what about you?" Mu suddenly challenged. "_You've_ been down here with me the entire time."

Murdoch flashed a toothy grin.

"_I_, at least, can take a lot of naps, Lieutenant—oh, _Commander_."

Mu opened his mouth, but couldn't find a good enough retort. With a deflating sigh, he ran a thick hand through his hair.

"Ah, maybe you're right. . . . Nothing much else I can do, eh?" Mu made his own way down the Skygrasper's ladder, leaving the manual behind. Placing both feet to the metal floor, he spun around on Murdoch—but the mechanic had already began walking away. Mu plodded after him.

"But . . . I _will_ check out the kid first—see if he's any better than the last time. After _that_ I'll get some sleep."

"Oh, come back down here first."

Mu cocked his head. "Why?"

Murdoch narrowed his creased eyes. "Do you _really_ have to ask, Sir?—Because we want to know how he is, too."

"Ahh, gotcha." With a wink of dancing eyes, Mu turned and began to walk away. Murdoch's voice followed him.

"We do, _Commander_.—so don't forget."

"Sure, sure." Mu waved the mechanic's concern away as he stepped into the Archangel's hallway.

Alone, the man began to softly chuckle about his latest encounter. Being the "Hawk of Endymion" meant being shuffled around from ship to ship, wherever he was needed.—a lot of times being an escort, like with that ship he'd helped take to Heliopolis way back then.

But, _already_, Lieutenant Commander Mu LaFlaga had been on the Archangel longer than a lot of his other 'assignments.' And he was beginning to _really_ like that fact.

_When you make new friends_

_In a brand new town . . ._

_And you start to think_

_About settling down. . . ._

_The things that would've been lost on you,_

_Are now clear as a bell._

_And you find yourself._

_Yeah, that's when you find yourself._


	3. Part III

This one takes place inbetween Alaska/JOSH-A and the Archangel's arrival at Orb, if it's difficult to tell. (-and either before or after the MuMurrue scene in that episode)

* * *

**_Part III -- (Phase 36)_**

Alone in her quarters, the pair of officers sipped their coffee in silence.

More than often, Mu looked over at his Captain, and with each glance, he took in more of that turned down face and those dark, troubled eyes. Soon, he didn't even bother to look away and just stared.

Murrue never noticed. She never even looked up. Her running thoughts commanded her every attention.

Then, when Mu saw her sink slightly lower in her chair, amber eyes narrowing in defeat, he couldn't take the silence anymore.

He brought down his coffee to rest on the desk.

". . . What are you thinking about now, Captain?" He asked, keeping his voice as low and steady as he could manage, though his eyes mirrored worry.

His voice brought her from her thoughts. With a short, painful sigh, Murrue tucked some fallen hair behind her ear.

"Natarle . . . mostly." She set down her mug. Her eyes traveled to the man sitting across from her. ". . . and what we're going to do now that she's gone.—She was very good at her job, Commander."

"Yes, yes, that she was," he muttered back, brow creasing slightly. Just days earlier the Lieutenant had disembarked with orders for transfer at JOSH-A, and her loss was still sinking in. Flay and Mu had had those same orders, but only the Commander came back.

He stretched in his chair, letting out a soft groan.

"Well, at least the kid's back . . .—in one piece, too."

"Yes." Murrue couldn't hold the flicker of a smile he'd made come of her. They were all glad to see Kira return, alive, so Mu just had to add the last bit as an afterthought. . . .

"_And_ you've got yourself back to _two_ pilots now," he grinned for her, taking another sip of his coffee. Turning slightly away, Mu let his flat eyes flicker around the familiar room.

He could vividly remember how he felt that moment when he'd found out that he'd never get to see this place again.—Never get to sit and have coffee like this again.

_Well, you go through life_

_So sure of where you're heading . . ._

When they'd first told him of his transfer, Mu could remember not knowing what to do—and that there was nothing he could do to change it. A very unsettling feeling for the veteran war hero.

But then, when he'd seen her face staring back at his as they said good-bye that day . . . His mind was made up instantly. He had to try, even if nothing worked—he _had_ to try to stay . . . which was what led him to the control rooms, which led him to his answer, which led them all to safety . . . which led him back to _her_—here, in this room.

_And then you wind up lost_

_And it's the best thing that could have happened._

'_Cause sometimes when you lose your way,_

_It's really just as well. . . ._

Mu glanced back over his Captain. Even though she still looked down into her cooling coffee, Mu could just make out the smallest smile beginning to play on Murrue's lips at his words.

At the warming sight, Mu began to laugh quietly to himself.

_Because you find yourself._

Hearing his deep chuckle, Murrue's head shot up, causing her to lock eyes with her Commander. Her face must have been funny in some way, because he smiled at her, cocking his head.

"Hm? What's the matter, Captain?"

"You just laughed. . . ." She ventured suspiciously. "Why?"

"Oh.—No reason," he grinned, downing the rest of his mug with little grace.

_Yeah, that's when you find yourself._

"Really. . . ." Murrue narrowed her eyes, not entirely convinced as she, herself, took another sip.

* * *

How's it going so far? Okay? I hope so. . . . You're now more than half-way through the song already, so you've got the gist of it. . . . I'll probably have the last two chapters up tomorrow or the day after . . . 


	4. Part IV

This one probably the hardest chapters in a while for me to become satisfied with . . . I'm still not 100 percent. But, when putting words to _such_ a scene . . . "Hm..." is all I can say.

* * *

**_Part IV -- (Phase 49)_**

"Damn that new machine of LeCreuset's . . . I—I'll get him."

"Y-You can tell me about it later," she assured, forcing away the emotion from her tone. The Captain immediately called up the hangar. "Mechanics—set up the emergency net for the Strike! Medical crew—stand by!"

He grinned at Murrue from beneath his helmet and through the pain.

"Heh. _Thanks_."

As the comm-link switched off, Mu dropped his head to stare at the Strike's internal damage. Even with the smoke, he forced open his visor for a moment to somehow get to the sweat clinging to his face. Already he was fixing up his plan of action for when he got back out into the battle with only his Zero. He didn't know exactly how well he'd fight, for the still-healing wound in his side had in some way re-opened. The pain was absolutely crippling, but he could disregard that, the on-going battle coming first.

With each heavy breath, Mu found himself getting closer and closer to the Archangel with its door open for him. Even with all the pain, Mu couldn't hold back the urge to smile, because he knew what he was returning to—a ship, a crew, and a _captain_ that he'd come to _love_ in the past few months. A rare feat, even for him.

_When you meet the one_

_That you've been waiting for_

As the hangar door seemed to open wider in the chasms of space, the Strike came every moment closer to its goal. In the corner of his display screen, Mu could see the short-lived light of another explosion of a ship being torn away. In habit, he found himself silently thanking fate it wasn't the Archangel.—Lately, he'd been doing that a lot.

With the Strike so close to safety, he glanced up at the waiting Bridge.—Mu found himself smiling once more as images of Murrue again crossed his path.

_And she's everything_

_That you want and more_

But then he saw _it_.

And that view shattered.

The red glow emanated from one of the Dominion's legs. That deadly red he'd seen all too many times.

The enemy ship was still operational. And the Archangel hadn't moved at all.

A familiar coldness gripped at Mu's chest—but it was stronger than ever before.

_You look at her . . ._

No longer a glow, the red became a beam . . . aimed directly at the Archangel. It's Bridge.

He gripped at his controls.

_And you finally start . . ._

"Evade!" She yelled.

"No time! We . . . cant . . ."

_To **live** for someone else. . . ._

The moment when time stopped, that utter moment of lost silence . . . ended as the beaten Strike took the blast. Placing itself in-between the Beam and the Bridge . . . _He_ took the blast.

The colors emitted when the cannon hit the shield could blind. The force of even holding the broken machine steady could crush. Yet, he still managed.

Even so . . .

"Hah! Didn't I tell you I could make . . . the impossible . . . possible?" He yelled back at those watching, a laugh forced in his tone.

Beneath the unimaginable power, the Strike began to disintegrate, then was gone, hidden within the resulting explosion. As the fires engulfed everything, Mu LaFlaga painfully grinned.

It didn't hit the Archangel.

_And then you find yourself._

The Bridge crew waited the chilling moment with stopped hearts as the smoke and debris cleared from before them.

They didn't breathe. _She_ couldn't breathe.

_Yeah, that's when you find yourself._

He was gone.


	5. Part V

Okay, last verse/stanza to this song, so incidentally, this is the last chapter. Please, constructive critisism is welcomed, especially since this is my first real attempt at something along these lines. Oh, and this particular chapter was the first one I wrote, actually--so, I may be a bit off. Thanks go to Thomas Paine for writing the (_I_ think) fitting quote below.

* * *

**_Part V -- (After the War)_**

The sun streamed in.

It was a beautiful day outside, but Murrue Ramius found herself inside, eyes scanning the shelf of a small 'library' of her collection. Many books and many authors, but she found herself only half-looking. Almost lifeless, she ran one long finger across all the bindings, her other hand busy holding a hot mug of coffee.

Every volume seemed dim and faded to her. She hadn't "just read" in such a long time. Her finger stopped on the last tome of the shelf, a dry green copy of a title she couldn't remember touching in years. But she slipped it out anyway.

With a soft sigh, Murrue lightly made her way to the chair and gracefully curled herself up in it, coffee still perched in her hand.

Taking a sip, Murrue ran her hand over the cover and smiled. It was always interesting to read works of that other time, the one before the Cosmic Era.

Feeling a bit more up to her task, she opened the book to a random page and started reading from there.

Silence filled the small room as she read—no sound save for the metronomic rise and fall of her breathing and the occasional crinkle of a turned page. And it stayed that way for a while.

Until one page, hidden deep within the covers, made _all_ sound stop.

Murrue sat frozen, eyes wide and beating down upon the top of a page filled with Thomas Paine's words. Time stopped as she re-found her breath.

Slowly Murrue set down her coffee beside her and let her eyes drift over the sentence once more. She pulled the book closer as she forced down the uprising in her heart. Unable to stop herself, she read it through again, slowly. The numbness came in waves as each word passed.

She glanced up, eyes strained as they caught the shelf illuminated in sunlight and the two military caps resting there.

One for her and one for . . .

_We go through life_

_So sure of where we're headed,_

_And then we wind up lost_

"—And it's the best thing that coulda happened_," he said with that knowing grin, wagging that finger in the air at her. He stopped himself in the Archangel's empty hallway to turn to her, same smile softer and warmer than before. "_Sometimes when you lose your way, it's really just as well._"_

_He sighed, blue eyes locking with brown. "_. . .Because you find yourself._"_

Murrue's eyes swam full with all the colors of her memories. She even bit her lip to keep the emotion in . . . but failed. It came, painfully seeping from those eyes.

As her one tear fell, it landed on the book still open in her lap. Her salty pain mixed with the ink of the page, sinking into the last line she'd read:

". . . I love the man that can smile in trouble, can gather strength from distress, and can grow brave by reflection; he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death. . . ."

_Yes . . . That's when you find yourself_.


End file.
